How Do You Do?

“How Do You Do?” is a song played by Paul McCartney during an informal session with Donovan, during the recording of Mary Hopkin’s album “Post Card“. It seems to be an original song written by McCartney, or a made-up-on-the-spot song.

Transcript of Paul McCartney and Donovan recorded during the sessions for Mary Hopkin’s Postcard LP as heard on the “No. 3 Abbey Road N.W. 8” bootleg CD. (reproduced from https://davidgray101.tripod.com/PaulandDonovan.html )

Fade in, Paul playing acoustic guitar and singing How Do You Do?.

Paul: (singing)How to suck a lollypopper,

Sitting on a woodypecker,

Dancing in the double-decker shoe,

(Donovan snickers, presumably at Paul’s nonsensical lyrics)

I don’t know,

How do you do?

Paul and Donovan:(singing together) How to suck a lollypopper,

Sitting on a woodypecker,

Dancing in the double-decker shoe,

I don’t know,

So, how do you do?

Donovan attempts to harmonize on the last word, ‘do’, but hits a sour note, causing both him and Paul to laugh. Paul carries on alone.

Paul: (singing) I don’t know how you do it,

Lordy, knows I try,

But every time I try to do it,

My whole darn tongue gets tied

Paul repeats the main verse, dealing with lollypoppers and double-decker things, while Donovan improvises some sort of gibberish over it, rendering it fairly impossible to transcribe.

Paul:…then Danny Kaye takes over…

Paul breaks into singing the main verse acapella at light speed followed by various comedic noise, “ha, ha, hoo”s and the like, causing Donovan and Mary Hopkins (whom we are just noticing for the first time) to break into laughter. While he continues to carry on in this fashion, Donovan chimes in with his own nonsense sounds. As the nonsense dies out, Paul for some reason or another lets out an apparently concerned “Oh, shit.” There is no sound of anything being hit or of a guitar string breaking, or anything else that might serve as a reason for his sudden alarm. One guess may be that he dropped cigarette ashes onto his guitar, but this serves only as unsupported speculation. Paul immediately returns to the song, causing Donovan to snicker again.

Paul: (singing)I don’t know how you do it…

Donovan: Think I’m very cheap as well, you know? (possibly: “make ’em very cheap…”)

This causes Paul to laugh, for whatever reason, and he says something that can’t be made out. He then continues singing.

Paul: (singing) …my whole darn tongue gets tied.

Donovan: (attempting to speak in a sort of western drawl) My whole darn tongue gets tied up.

Paul: (speaking in a much more convincing American accent than Donovan) My whole darn tongue gets tied.

Paul carries on singing the same verse, “How to suck a lollypopper…” a couple more times. Finally he stops. […]

Variations

• A 1968 demo with Donovan

Bootlegs

Live performances

Paul McCartney has never played this song in concert.

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